The
Tao Of Dating
Free Sample #3
"How
to Avoid the #1 Mistake Men Make to Cause Their Relationships
to End Prematurely "
How not to be taken for granted
One
of the main factors contributing to the demise of long-term
relationships is being taken for granted. All those things
that made you wonderful, interesting and special are now simply
accepted as standard features. Sometime it reaches a point
where just a small lapse from wonderfulness is held against
you. This is completely normal and expected. There's nothing
sinister about it. In fact, it's a demonstration of habituation,
one of the main features of the mammalian nervous system and
a cornerstone of adaptability. In other words, it's not a
bug, it's a feature, and it's not going away. So learn how
to work with it, not against it. Be like water, as the Taoists
say. Don't try to topple the obstacle; just figure out a way
to go around it.
To
optimize survival, the nervous system has evolved to notice
change and filter out the background. It happens in all of
your five senses: eyes notice moving objects and not static
ones; you stop noticing the refrigerator's hum after a few
days; you stop smelling something after five minutes. This
is called habituation, and there are mechanisms operating
at the cellular level to make this work. In other words, you're
better off understanding it and working with it rather than
fighting it. And the proper way to circumvent habituation
is to deliberately introduce salient, unpredictable stimulus,
better known as change.
There
are infinite ways of being unpredictable, but here I want
to give you two techniques derived from behavioral psychology
and animal training. The first is deliberate unpredictability,
especially when it comes to doing nice things for your partner.
Behavioral psychologists and animal trainers call this implementing
an irregular schedule of reinforcement...
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The Tao of Dating and the Tao of Sexual Mastery Now
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